We signed the paperwork today agreeing to adopt Malia. After getting to play with her outside again today for over an hour, she went off to eat lunch, and we went inside to the office and completed forms in Russian and in English. The last sentence on one of the forms said something like, “We promise to love her, care for her, and provide for her the best we can.” Just writing that wells up tears in my eyes! Of course we will! I wrote out her full given name by her birth mother, then wrote out her full new name. . . . Malia Nagima Heavrin. A new name for a new life. (Hold on, I have to blow my nose)
Malia was super cute again today. We met her outside being pushed in a stroller with another little girl. The orphanage worker lifted her out and stood her on the sidewalk. I kneeled down and reached for her hand. She looked at me and pulled her hand away. I tried again and same thing. So I pulled out the stuffed dog Scout and that made it all better, ha! Scott picked her up and we took her to one of the outside shelters that have toys. There was a plastic slide and for several minutes, Scott would pick her up and put her on it and she would slide into my arms. Then we switched. She loved it! (We need one of those slides.) There was a rocking horse too. I put her on it and showed her how to rock. She knew what she was doing and baby girl is not scared! She would rock so hard the horse would look like it would tip over backwards and she would scream with laughter. (We are going to need one of those as well!)
Today we gave her the baby book a co-worker gave me that says on the front “Who loves baby?” Inside are six pictures of Scott and I. She was very interested in it. She flipped the pages back and forth and took it over to the other side of the shelter. Scott and I were sitting on the bench and watched her inspect the book. She said a word. We both looked at each other and waited. She said the word again. I have no idea what she said and neither did Anya, but we heard her voice for the first time.
It has been wonderful getting to play with Malia. Each day we have seen something new in her. I started to think today about having to leave her tomorrow. I asked Anya if Malia would remember us in 2 months when we come back for our court date. Anya looked at me with a clear expression of “I’m sorry.” She shook her head no and explained that the very young children never do. She said the workers at the orphanage come and go so the children are used to that. She will not remember us. That was hard to hear.
Tomorrow is our last day to see her on this trip. I want her to look me in the eyes and feel that I love her. When I hold her face close to look at her, she looks away immediately. I tried gently holding her face and singing the ABC’s to her today. She held my gaze just a little bit longer when I started singing.
Goodnight from the other side of the world. ~wendy
No words...just know that He is crafting your family in His time and you will ALL be together for good real soon (so hard to say...so hard to hear). Thinking of you often and had crocodile tears in my eyes as I pictured you walking through a couple of backyards to bring her to the slide in our backyard. Anytime....anytime.
ReplyDeleteWendy, I hope you get this before you get to see her again. If so, take some lotion with you, in your purse. While you are with her, put it on your hands and make a big deal out of it when you do. Show it to Scott, and let him smell it, and he needs to make a big deal out of it (animated to the point of feeling ridiculous) . Then after you put it on, see if she wants some on her hands. Do Scott's hands if you have to. If Anya is there, do her hands. Offer it to Malia with your best hand signal jestures. If she will let you, put her in your lap, facing you, and rub it slowly into her hands. Try hard to get her to make eye contact while you are doing this. If she does, then make it last as long as you can. Have Scott smell her hands and make a big deal of how wonderful they smell. Then pull out some chapstick or lip gloss. Put it on your lips and make a big deal of it too. Then offer it to her. If she will let you put it on her, then hold her little face in your hand, making eye contact as long as possible. If any of this works, then rub some lotion on the book that you are leaving with her, wipe your hands on her coat, so that the smell of the lotion gets on it. Leave that smell on anything that you think she might pick up or have on later. If they let you leave Scout there, then smear some lotion on him before you do! I would try every way possible to leave Scout. Even if you never see it again (which you probably won't) leave it there anyway, and you can get another one just like it to have when you pick her up. If it reminds her of you, it will be worth replacing it. No one can tell you if she will remember you or not. Don't assume that anyone knows one way or the other. Most children her age may not act like they remember, but who really knows, other than God?, Love you all, Laura
ReplyDeleteAmen. xoxo
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